Friday, February 26, 2010

Tackling the Temptress Threat Head On – Save Your Expat Marriage From Temptation


Today I’m going to be talking about tackling the threat of the local temptresses who go after expat men the minute they land in a new nation…and who for expat men are a real predatory threat to their marriage.

It’s a well-known fact that there are certain countries in the world where some of the local women, (and even some of the local men for that matter!), are after a rich Western sugar daddy who’ll transport them out of their daily drudgery and into a life of comfort and even affluence.
Gringo men are quite the catch – and no wife, girlfriend or significant other will stand a chance of deterring a temptress as she makes a beeline for her ‘prize.’

A good friend of mine fell foul of the threat – having travelled the world with her husband and children, she landed up in South America and quicker than you could say ‘Buenos días’ (or perhaps, more appropriately ‘Hasta luego’), her formerly faithful man was off with the first buxom local bird to catch his eye. She had her eyes on a passport: he had his firmly fixed on her ‘not so natural assets.’

Once the man in question had fathered a love child and realised his hideously expensive mistake, he attempted to crawl back to his wife who wisely kicked his sorry ass into touch. Having now walked out on his girlfriend and her child as well however, her family ensured he wasn’t allowed back – but fortune favoured him and he soon landed up with another local girl who thought she’d try her own luck at a passport to a better life. He has since legged it out of there wondering how the hell he got himself into such a serious mess, leaving his broken hearted family behind as well as a trail of angry local women who are bringing up his ‘hijo ilegítimo.’

So you see - the threat is a real one – you may however think I’m being racist, sexist, bitter, labelling all ‘foreign’ women with the same brush and guilty of believing no man can resist a beautiful pair of…eyes. But, be aware that you may be putting your relationship in the firing line if you dare, move to any one of a handful of countries in South America, Asia and even the former Soviet Union and you will quickly see what I mean.
Many of the young, attractive women are predatory, and your man is their prey. For the men it can be flattering to have a bevy of local beauties throwing themselves at you like you’re George Clooney, (I note he gets quite a few mentions on Expat Daily News)! And what’s one small kiss anyway – it’s hardly a betrayal is it? Swap a few flirty text messages, have a surreptitious fumble behind the local bar whilst your wife’s at her language class or tucking your children into bed – no one will know/mind/care/notice. But my male friends, you’re not irresistible and you’re not going to be allowed to leave it there. You are being hunted and your relationship with your wife or girlfriend is acceptable collateral damage to the temptress who wants you to provide her with a new and better life.

If you disagree, and you truly believe that you are one hot catch – that’s absolutely fine, who am I to judge? However, I would just like you to consider this – even thinking about having sex with a woman other than your partner is a betrayal. It’s a betrayal of her trust and faith in you – it proves to her that you are not who she thought you were; it proves to her that actually, you’re a faithless, feckless man who never deserved her trust in the first place. Are you that man? If you are then walk away from your marriage, your family and your future – but if you’re not that person, why are you even considering the option of flirting with strangers, of making close friends with other women, of sharing intimate moments with someone other than the woman you love?

Stop yourself for God’s sake – it’s not you these women want, it’s what you can provide for them. And it’s not just your wife/partner you’ll be betraying and hurting - what about your children, your extended family and all your friends who believed in you, who thought you were better than that? Don’t throw it all away on a pro who makes her living out of corrupting other people’s lives.

And finally – you can’t blame the temptress either – she was born into a position in life that she desperately wants to escape from…but you’re not a stepping stone she can walk over to get where she wants to be…so stop the threat before it takes hold of yet another expatriate relationship.


12 comments:

  1. Sad but true. Having been there, the potential is to pay a very high price, and it's not worth it.
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  2. Even flipping it a bit to being a single guy in S. America.. How long do you date a S. American girl before you know she's not only after a Passport?
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  3. Jeff, one long weekend.
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  4. Having been stationed in Korea, I have seen firsthand the destruction these women and their hapless male targets can cause. Having been witness to an old Korean woman walking the streets with an Amerasian baby on her back while actually getting these guys to follow her and pay for sex with her "girls", I can attest to the craziness in these countries. "Me love you forever GI" - yeah - until you get to the US and then she's gone.
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  5. Gee. Guess I got off the wrong plane/wrong country. I've been around S. America and other continents for years. Have $. In shape. Speak languages. Love cultures. I have friends but have been respected. What should I do to become a "pursued" man???

    Jim
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  6. The lack of specifics makes me think this is mostly the stuff of urban legend..."any one of a handful of countries in South America...so what handful, specifically?
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  7. Thank You thank you thank YOU! Having been in SA for less than 6 months, and witnessing my husbands new employee's body language while working with & near him, I brought this topic to his attention just recently. He may have thought me a tad paranoid (or PMS-ing) but I think he got the message enough that HE sent ME this article! Thank you for being another voice of this real problem.
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  8. Why are you sooo against men? maybe if the wife would be as attentive as the temptress this would not be. just a thought
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  9. Does the author know men?
    Cosmo says 60% of married men cheat in the US and the more money he has the more likely there will be woman after him. Heard of Tiger Woods?
    Guess they're more desperate in other countries but can you blame them?
    An attractive woman requires men to fight their nature regardless of their love for another woman. Some men are more disciplined than others but we all fight are inner drive.
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  10. I did it in Ecuador a few years ago. Blew a great wife out of the water for something younger and more desirable. I thought. Both women are history now. As dumb as I am I'd probably do it again.
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  11. "even thinking about having sex with a woman other than your partner is a betrayal. It’s a betrayal of her trust and faith in you "

    ewww.... For years, psychological tests on normal people shown that yes, men (and also women) sometime think about having sex with another person than their significant other. It does not mean they act on it.

    sorry but just by saying this I think you live in a fairy tale.
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  12. It's well documented that women cheat more than men, however they're much better at not getting caught.

    Whether you're in the U.S. or abroad communicate like adults and work together to fix the holes in your relationship, then it won't matter how sexy and flirtatious the outside world gets.
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