News just in from the Argentinean Presidential Palace is that the nation’s leader loves a good porking – BEFORE a sex session with her husband.
Yes, you’re reading it right! And before you get all uppity about the Expat Daily News team stooping so low and bringing you salacious stories such as this one, how on earth could you expect us not to report this groundbreaking news!
Apparently President Cristina Fernandez enjoys a fantastic sex life – and puts her husband’s prowess down to the fact he’s a lover of Porky Pig. The President told her (frankly uncomfortable and aghast) guests at a recent dinner party that pork in the Fernandez household is the only aphrodisiac they need – Viagra doesn’t keep her husband up all night, but a slab of Argentinean pork apparently does.
Now, cynics might suggest that the President was attempting to increase local prices for Argentinean pork by delivering such an impacting statement – but some could counter accuse cynics of being jealous types who live their lives alone and who can’t put the power of the pork to the test! So, let’s not enter that whole limp pork argument lest we be shot down…
Suffice to say, the head of the Argentinean association of pork producers was very keen to back up President Cristina Fernandez – whilst he stopped short of openly discussing his own sex life or comparing Viagra to a pork chop, he did state the fact that lovers in Denmark and Japan, where pork is apparently often the order of the day: “have much more harmonious [HAMonious??] sexual lives than…Argentines have."
Having lived and worked in Germany for many years where Schweinefleisch (pork) consumption is apparently the 5th highest in the world, (in case you’re interested for the sake of planning your next relocation they eat more in Austria, Spain, Denmark and Serbia and Montenegro), I wouldn’t really say the Germans come across as over sexed or even highly sexually satisfied…but then, what goes on behind closed doors and after dinner is anyone’s guess!
Having also seen pictures of President Cristina Fernandez’s husband, could I perhaps suggest the reports of her conversation were wholly confused and what she was actually allegedly saying at her dinner party was that she’d rather have a sex session with a pig than her husband Nestor Kirchner? Go ahead and Google him and and form your own opinion.
Anyway, whichever way you look at it, this story is pretty sensational and ridiculous at the same time. Christina, how can you expect to retain any respect for the public office you hold when you state that you use pork as an aphrodisiac, that its powers outshine those of Viagra and that politicians as frankly unappetising as you and your husband have a steamy sex life at all? Gee – it’s all actually worse than thinking about your parents settling down to a nice pork roast…let’s leave it right there….
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