An Unlikely Expat in El Salvador

This is the story of how contributing writer Louis Varca became an expat in El Salvador.  Please read, please comment. 

by Louis Varca
I met my other half on a warm summer day at an Amusement Park, the least likely of places. I had no real attraction to Latin American individuals prior. I was not exactly racist either, neutral. I have to admit, I do like new cultures though. We met, went out on a few dates, you know the story. We fell for each other. Our friends never though it would last since we were young (23-24) and to everyones surprise it did.

We were not married at the time. We simply were not ready. Unfortunately my significant others visa expired. She neglected to tell me, I can't blame her. It probably would of cost us the relationship. Long Distance Relationships tear families apart, they don't work well. We went out as if nothing had happened.
It was a Monday morning and she left for work, just like any other Monday morning. We were upset with each other so I didn't say good-bye. I went to work that same day, expecting to see her when I got home. At about two in the afternoon I get a text message from her. It read as follows...

"Te Amo." - I love you.  Followed directly by another....
"Me van a deportar" - They are going to deport me.

I had no idea if she was serious or not. I didn't know what to make of it. A few minutes later her family called me, very upset. Turns out she had been the passenger in a car which was pulled over for not slowing down at a yellow light. They check everybodies ID's on suspicion of who knows what and found she had a deportation order (for overstaying her Visa) and she was taken into custody.

I remember the terrible feeling I felt for two days. No idea what was happening. After two whole days she finally was given access to a phone from the County Jail. She called me, crying, because we were apart and she thought she was going to loose me. I was only 25 and had an entire life built. Purchased the car of my dreams (A Mustang), got a mortgage and a house, had an incredibly well paying job as a restaurant manager (a huge accomplishment with no more than a high school education), and now, now I was about to lose it all.

That call ended, I had never felt so horrible in my entire life. It still hurts all these years later to even write it. From that jail she was transferred to another regional jail in the middle of the night. She called. I went to visit her. Less than 24 hours after she got there, they moved her again, before I got there to visit, hours before. She was en-route to another regional jail more than eight hours from where I lived. She was placed in the regular jail, with criminals, full criminals. She said the conditions were horrible, the guards constantly racist and it cost two dollars a minute to talk to her. Go figure.

I visited her twice. I couldn't take talking to her through 3 inch thick glass. One night when I visited, she put her hand to the glass against mine. I felt like an idiot crying in front of everyone but seeing the person you love being treated that way is something I hope none of you readers ever have to go through.

By this point she was moved again to another jail several states away. Apparently she would of been deported at this point after two months except a contagious disease broke out in the jail where she was harbored. They quarantined everyone and took days to get medical staff. I was incredibly worried. Fortunately she did not get infected, but several did. Two died in custody on a level below her. I am sure the medical staff did all they could (*sarcasm*).

By this point I had long made the decision to drop everything, sell everything and blindly move. Yeah, it was a crazy decision. I don't regret it. I am not going to let immigration tear my life apart. Sure, they did, but why let them ruin it anymore than necessary. I sold my cars. I lost money on the house, took a huge hit... left the job I loved. Auctioned everything I could. Managed to get a final total of $4500 after paying all the debts, etc.

She was moved to yet another jail, this time an immigration jail over 13 hours from where I lived. The cost of calls was about 3.00 a minute at this jail plus connection fee of 1.25. It cost well over 30 dollars for a short conversation. I called the El Salvador consulate and he felt so horrible for our situation, because it was so much worse than most he pulled some strings. A week later I had her deportation date. July 27th. They were sending her on a commercial flight.  Only one commercial flight was leaving the airport closest to her July 27th. It was TACA at 10AM. I bought a flight on TACA leaving my airport at 10AM.

I landed in El Salvador with 2 suitcases, 4k hidden in my sock, a lot of fear and no knowledge of the place. I had never been to El Salvador. I read up on it. I speak fluent Spanish. I had learned it working in the restaurant, I am of Italian blood as well and speak Italian so that helped the process. My Spanish is fluent but by no means perfect. My wife (now -- wife) does not speak English well, so we communicate in Spanish.

When I landed, I walked outside the airport -- lost, confused, nervous and excited. That is life. I waited. Hours and she still didn't come. Finally at 5PM she walked out the doors. God, she looked bad. All white, no color, lord knows how many pounds lighter. Maybe 20-30. It was great. Of course, we still had no plan whatsoever.

She has one sister here who picked us up and took us back to her house. We stayed, fought, and planned. It was horrible and great. Bitter-sweet. We finally sat and cried together, deciding the only choice was for me to go again. To go back to the USA and work. She was banned from the USA for 10 years automatically by the way. Immigration lawyers gave us no chance because the horrible anti-immigration laws and attitudes those days and these days alike.

I got on a plane. My wife and her sister said I never looked so sad in my entire life. Every step felt horrible, but I did it. I got back on that damn plane. I flew back to the USA. I lived in a cramped, crappy apartment. I drove to work everyday fifty minutes using a borrowed car from my sister. Thank god for family.

First job was at a factory. It was horrible, the work, the conditions. I ate one sandwich a day with one slice of ham and one slice of cheese. I sent every penny back to her that was left. Finally I got a break, at a Call Center. My CS skills landed me a temp position. It was perfect, six months. The pay was amazing. I got over-time, lots. For almost the entire time I left training til the day I left I worked 80 hours a week. 7AM - 9PM M-F and Saturdays. Two Sundays in that time as well. I worked, I worked. I volunteered to do Spanish as well for no extra pay. That made me valuable, helped me progress. They offered me FT but I declined.

The venture cost me both our birthdays together, I missed Christmas with her too. Valentines day passed. Feb 21st I got on a plane and went back to El Salvador. We used all that money I made to build a house. We now have a home. It is not what we had in the USA, but its a roof over our heads.

The day I got back I asked her to marry me. We are engaged and still not "married" but we are planning on it, all this time later. We don't want to rush it. The entire experience has made us inseparable. Since I found a job at a call center here. The pay is moderate. I also work part-time as a freelance writer.

All of her family and mine are in the USA. We talk now and then. We all miss each other terribly. My little sister is growing up, my other sister graduated nursing school. I missed it. I missed it all. Every day I miss something that I should be there to see. My parents grow older, I worry. I worry so much, but I can't be there with them all the time.

We live decently here, but with the usual feel. The slightest bump in the night worries us. Who knows when we will get robbed, we live in the country area, it happens. Sometimes we can't find basic things we need but for the most part we are comfortable. We are together.

I have learned a lot about the culture. I am not shocked by it anymore. I was at first. The poverty level is high. I still enjoy seeing how people are just happy to be together and alive. I think its something that is lost in Northern life.

I enjoy the little things. I still do not like the food here, for the most part. I hang on to my old clothes from the USA. I guess its a subtle reminder, although they are ripped apart. We finally got an air-conditioner, I did adjust to the heat.

People look at me funny sometimes, they find it hard to believe an American is LIVING here and not just vacationing. They are friendly though. I have never felt out of place here. Everyone is friendly and accepting.

My biggest gripe is that there is no good Chinese food here. I miss sweet and sour chicken. I miss my family. I miss my dog and all the places we visited. I miss our life, but I have began to accept this is our life now. She feels the same.

We both feel a little lost, but we take it day by day and we are surviving. I just wish that everybody who fights so passionately to deport immigrants would realize they are tearing AMERICAN families apart. The whole cause of immigration is to protect the American life style, right? So what happened to no man left behind. What happened to all the American families who are hurt and torn apart, like mine? I know my family is suffering without me. My life isn't what it should be here either.

I don't think I have anymore right to an American life than my wife does. I am here in El Salvador to stay. My country has abandoned me and my wife because of my choice to marry her? Because she isn't American we can't be in love and be together in the USA? We weren't going to rush our marriage just for immigration. We aren't going to be untrue to who we are.

It wasn't our choice to leave. We had too though. The worst part of it all, after all I have been through, the people here treat me better than actual fellow Americans do. I get rude looks from people at the embassy every time I go, because I made the choice to "abandon" my country, as one southerner told me. Image that, I made the choice.

I think my wife and I would agree, this was hardly a choice.

That is why I started my blog http://www.vidasalvadorena.com/. For all those who will go through this terrible situation as well,  I am here to help.

For those readers who are married to nationals of El Salvador and living in the USA and here... plenty of respect to you. We are family on some level. We all are. Making the choice to stick with our wife's and husbands from El Salvador regardless of the situation.

Louis Varca is my favorite El Salvador contributer.  You should definately check out his blog at www.vidasalvadorena.com. It is practical and a great resource if you are thinking about El Salvador.
This article first appeared on Expat Daily News Central America - The editor would love to hear from you with your views and comments! Email cathy@expatdailynews.com.

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