Tackling the Temptress Threat Head On – Save Your Expat Marriage From Temptation

Today I’m going to be talking about tackling the threat of the local temptresses who go after expat men the minute they land in a new nation…and who for expat men are a real predatory threat to their marriage.

It’s a well-known fact that there are certain countries in the world where some of the local women, (and even some of the local men for that matter!), are after a rich Western sugar daddy who’ll transport them out of their daily drudgery and into a life of comfort and even affluence.

Gringo men are quite the catch – and no wife, girlfriend or significant other will stand a chance of deterring a temptress as she makes a beeline for her ‘prize.’

A good friend of mine fell foul of the threat – having travelled the world with her husband and children, she landed up in South America and quicker than you could say ‘Buenos días’ (or perhaps, more appropriately ‘Hasta luego’), her formerly faithful man was off with the first buxom local bird to catch his eye. She had her eyes on a passport: he had his firmly fixed on her ‘not so natural assets.’

Once the man in question had fathered a love child and realised his hideously expensive mistake, he attempted to crawl back to his wife who wisely kicked his sorry ass into touch. Having now walked out on his girlfriend and her child as well however, her family ensured he wasn’t allowed back – but fortune favoured him and he soon landed up with another local girl who thought she’d try her own luck at a passport to a better life. He has since legged it out of there wondering how the hell he got himself into such a serious mess, leaving his broken hearted family behind as well as a trail of angry local women who are bringing up his ‘hijo ilegítimo.’

So you see - the threat is a real one – you may however think I’m being racist, sexist, bitter, labelling all ‘foreign’ women with the same brush and guilty of believing no man can resist a beautiful pair of…eyes. But, be aware that you may be putting your relationship in the firing line if you dare, move to any one of a handful of countries in South America, Asia and even the former Soviet Union and you will quickly see what I mean.

Many of the young, attractive women are predatory, and your man is their prey. For the men it can be flattering to have a bevy of local beauties throwing themselves at you like you’re George Clooney, (I note he gets quite a few mentions on Expat Daily News)! And what’s one small kiss anyway – it’s hardly a betrayal is it? Swap a few flirty text messages, have a surreptitious fumble behind the local bar whilst your wife’s at her language class or tucking your children into bed – no one will know/mind/care/notice. But my male friends, you’re not irresistible and you’re not going to be allowed to leave it there. You are being hunted and your relationship with your wife or girlfriend is acceptable collateral damage to the temptress who wants you to provide her with a new and better life.

If you disagree, and you truly believe that you are one hot catch – that’s absolutely fine, who am I to judge? However, I would just like you to consider this – even thinking about having sex with a woman other than your partner is a betrayal. It’s a betrayal of her trust and faith in you – it proves to her that you are not who she thought you were; it proves to her that actually, you’re a faithless, feckless man who never deserved her trust in the first place. Are you that man? If you are then walk away from your marriage, your family and your future – but if you’re not that person, why are you even considering the option of flirting with strangers, of making close friends with other women, of sharing intimate moments with someone other than the woman you love?

Stop yourself for God’s sake – it’s not you these women want, it’s what you can provide for them. And it’s not just your wife/partner you’ll be betraying and hurting - what about your children, your extended family and all your friends who believed in you, who thought you were better than that? Don’t throw it all away on a pro who makes her living out of corrupting other people’s lives.

And finally – you can’t blame the temptress either – she was born into a position in life that she desperately wants to escape from…but you’re not a stepping stone she can walk over to get where she wants to be…so stop the threat before it takes hold of yet another expatriate relationship.

Trust Me, I’m an Expat!

For most of us who are working abroad there’s a reason we’ve been put where we are. It may be that we have a particular skill that is needed in this place at this time, or perhaps we’ve been sent to train or mentor some colleagues, or we’ve seen an opportunity no one else has and we’ve grabbed it with both hands.

Whatever the case, coming from a different background and, depending on the country where you find yourself, having perhaps had greater access to education and training, and perhaps even a broader experience of life, there’s always a temptation to think that we know better. Sometimes of course this is true, we’ve ended up wherever we are precisely because we have the right knowledge or skills that happened to be missing before we got there.

Sadly though, for many reasons, expats can get lulled into a sense of believing that they are indispensable and the only ones who know how things should really be run in the place they find themselves. History is littered with examples of foreigners trying and failing to impose their way of doing things on the “uncivilised natives” – look at the Raj, and the Roman Empire! The reality though is that, while expats often have much to contribute to the country they are in, some things are better done the local way.

I sometimes find this very frustrating. I live in a place where I can see so many things that, with small changes, could work better. On closer investigation though quite often there’s a reason why things are done the way they are, perhaps based on experience or on some obscure cultural norm which confuses me, but which makes perfect sense to my colleagues.

I’ve been thinking about this recently because I’ve been watching a recent arrival struggling with a local sports club. The new guy is sports mad and has played various sports semi-professionally. Locally there’s a gang of guys who play one of his favourite sports every weekend on the beach so he’s joined them, and he’s determined to teach them how to play the game “properly.” It’s been his new mission and he’s been very fired up about what he’s going to achieve, and how grateful everyone will be when he’s finished teaching them!

The problem is, the local guys have been playing for years according to their own set of rules which they’ve developed over time. The new guy says what they play bears little resemblance to the game he loves and it bothers him – after all, things should be done “properly.” The whole thing has turned into a huge argument and he’s been asked, very politely to stay away. He can’t understand it because as he says, he knows how it should be done, he’s qualified and has plenty of experience of doing it “right.”

The conclusion I’ve come to is that perhaps he’s looking at it from the wrong angle. Perhaps the game that’s developed here over the past few years, based on the challenges of not having the right equipment, playing it on a sloping beach, sometimes playing partly in the sea depending on the tide and so on, is an evolved version of the “proper” game that’s adapted to the local reality. Of course the guys playing here could never go and compete against a team playing the “proper” game, but that is so far outside their aspirations as to be completely irrelevant, they just want a practical set of rules that allows them to have fun at the weekends.

Another thought I had was that perhaps if the new guy had come along and played for a year or so and then started trying to introduce some changes he might have been a bit more successful.

So what I have concluded is this. Yes, as expats we often have a lot to contribute, and yes, sometimes we really can see how to improve things. But sometimes people don’t want things “improved,” after all our home societies are rarely shining examples of the perfect way to do things either, (try talking to anyone in a developing economy about Western economic management at the moment and you’ll see what I mean – ironic smiles all round!) But if we genuinely can see a way to do something differently for an improved result it’s usually better to first try and understand why the thing is done as it is at the moment, and second to build trust and understanding before trying to make the change. It may be stating the obvious, it’s ‘Change Management 101’ after all, but how come we all (myself very much included) seem to forget it so often!

By MozMouse

Image courtesy of Zimbio

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Stories from the Frontline – Expat Pets – It’s a Zoo Out There

My cat has been ill, very ill. It has been a terrible time. Where I live there are no vets and no animal medicines available. The cat has been treated based on phone calls to a friendly vet back home and with small doses of human medicine. I wouldn’t recommend it as an experience.

The cat, as with all the pets we have, is a rescued animal, taken as a kitten, half starved from a local rubbish bin. We are surrounded by poverty here, and the effect it has on both people and animals is terrible. While I comfort myself that investing here, employing people and donating to charity all have their benefits for people, my attitude to animals is a bit more complicated, perhaps because they are easier to adopt! In fact my husband has imposed a rule, only 4 animals at any given time, otherwise we’d have to open a zoo.

As you can tell from the lengths I have gone to, to save the cat I take my responsibility to the animals I adopt very seriously. Many expats I know here adopt one, or often many more of the poor animals they see on the street. But what confuses me is the attitude many expats have when it comes time to leave.

We are regularly inundated with emails from people who are leaving asking for help to find homes for adult dogs and cats, or we hear that the animal has been given to a staff member or colleague, who is likely struggling to make ends meet for their own family without another, pampered mouth to feed. My husband has even been asked to assist in putting down a veritable herd of animals belonging to one expat family because they chose not to take them when they left. He refused.

Let me be clear that, even here with little veterinary support, it is possible to arrange pet transport and to have animals micro-chipped so they can travel. I have a friend who took her local stray cat with her when she moved first to South Africa and then to Mexico, and the cat seems none the worse for the travel – apparently he really liked the colourful birds in Mexico! What I find strange is the decision to adopt one or more animals, give them a good life for a while and then shrug them off on departure. I understand that for some people this is a difficult decision, and for others it’s “only an animal” - but can our consumerist society really have reached a point where we want a companion for the time we are away from home, but don’t feel the commitment to that companion to take them with us or leave them well-cared for?

When my cat was at death’s door last week, friends tried to comfort me with the notion that his life had been better with me than it had been on the street and I could accept that, since nature was taking its course. What I struggle with is the notion that a short period of that “better life” and then being abandoned by your carers can really be kinder than having been left on the rubbish dump in the first place. I don’t have an answer, but thinking about the ways we sometimes play god with animals when we are abroad certainly makes me uncomfortable. How do you feel? Comment below...

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Corporate Social Responsibility – Doing Your Best When Working Abroad

Corporate Social Responsibility (a.k.a., CSR) is the ‘buzzword’ de jour in business both at home and abroad. It’s a triple bottom line which shows not only how well your company is doing, but how much good it is doing; and CSR as a concept is becoming increasingly important.

At home it’s often not difficult to choose some programme or project - be it social or environmental – which is directly relevant to your business, and to invest in it. However, in another country it is often more difficult to choose what to focus on, and how to go about making sure that your CSR activities actually have a positive impact, and don’t just look good on paper. The key to success is in the planning, management and commitment to sustaining the CSR activity you select.

Depending on where you are in the world and the scale of your overseas business, you will have a variety of options open to you. I often recall a friend of mine who was managing a large multi-national in a very poor country. He received a call from his head office in London asking how he went about identifying and prioritising appropriate CSR activities, his immediate reply was: “I just look outside my window and see problems everywhere.” Of course, he also had a decent budget for CSR and a manager dedicated to identifying projects and following them through, meaning that his company had an excellent reputation locally for its social programmes.

If you are not that lucky, and have a small company, CSR is still an important aspect of your contribution as a business, but you need to be more careful how you spend your money, so that you can be sure it goes where you want it to. In many developing countries in particular, you will be under pressure, both morally and perhaps politically, to “do something.” What you choose to do is very much up to you, and I would suggest you invest some time in researching your options and planning the outcomes you would hope to see, both in terms of impacts of the activity, and in terms of returns to you for the money invested, but here are some ideas.

Firstly I would suggest choosing a corporate social responsibility area that is close to your heart, something which is of direct interest to you and your colleagues, or is relevant to your company. This way you can be sure that you will be motivated to follow through, and what you do will be meaningful to you. Perhaps members of your staff already volunteer at an orphanage, and you can bring in the company behind their work, or perhaps your company uses natural resources and you can put something back with an environmental programme.

Secondly, you have the option of direct implementation or of giving the funds to others. This will depend on the type of activity you choose, but many companies choose to partner with local Non-Governmental Organisations (NGOs) which have a track record in the field. If you choose this option you have every right to ask for detailed information from the NGO about their operating procedures and costs. As a guideline, NGOs should spend less than 20% of their resources on operating costs, the rest being spent directly on activities. Also if you choose this option, you should be clear at the outset what you expect in return, be it photos of the activity you have sponsored, or a report back, or the opportunity for you and your staff to participate. If possible, base your spending and your expectations on a simple contract which clearly shows who is to do what.

Another option, if the amount you have available to spend is small and the problem you want to tackle is a large one, is to work together with other companies. This can be done in an informal way, or through a business association which can pool your resources and manage them for you, reporting back and keeping you informed.

Bear in mind too that in many places, local leaders will have their own ideas about what are priorities in terms of social responsibility. You have the option of choosing to invest in a project favoured locally, for example by the President or Governor’s wife, or of choosing what you determine the priority to be. Both have their advantages, but you should certainly be aware of the political implications of sponsoring different types of CSR activity.

Lastly - bear in mind that, wherever you are and however many problems there may seem to be which urgently need your CSR investment, every little helps and a well-managed and sustained CSR programme has the possibility to directly improve conditions.

By Carrie Davies
Private Sector Development & Management Consultant
Mozambique

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Drinking in Dry Countries – Is The Alcoholic Buzz Worth the Risk?

Some of the best paying expatriate assignments happen to be in the driest countries in the world – and I don’t mean those suffering from droughts in the climatic sense, I mean ‘dry’ in terms of the prohibition of alcohol.

Take Saudi Arabia for example – it’s a great place to live and work and pocket a small fortune to fuel the rest of your life’s dreams - but it’s also a nation where drinking alcohol is illegal, with those who break the law punishable by a long prison term and a possible public flogging.

There are a significant number of countries and states in the world where the importation, production, distribution and consumption of alcohol are all illegal – note: most of them are populated by people who follow the Islamic faith. (My understanding is that there are certain verses of the Qur'an which mention the forbiddance of any intoxicating substance). However, the confusing thing is that depending on where we’re talking about, the crime of consuming alcohol can be more or less seriously punishable, making the legal landscape a little hazy for even the soberest of expats.

Take Dubai as a classic example – it’s illegal to consume alcohol in Dubai – unless you have a license to do so in your own home or you do so at one of the licensed establishments in Dubai city. But if you move from an assignment in Dubai, where clearly expats can get around the law without being punished, and you move to live in Saudi or Libya and think that the same fairly slack rules apply, you could land yourself in such hot water.

And yet, some expats still think the risk of enjoying an alcoholic beverage is worth it?

On expat compounds in dry countries it’s a well known fact that you can easily get your hands on moonshine and take your chances - not only with the effects that this illegally manufactured concoction might have on your health, but with the authorities if they catch up with you. But surely it’s just not worth it? I really cannot get my head around how it could be worth it…am I missing something?

If you enjoy a drink that much that you cannot live without it for 3, 6 or 12 months at a time, maybe you should be considering rehab rather than relocation – or at least tailoring your search for assignments abroad to those nations where having a beer won’t have you arrested.

It’s a well-known fact that expats and alcohol go together like a horse and carriage - as explored in our earlier report by BeiraChick; but if local law states that it’s an offence to enjoy booze, who in their right mind would ignore that fact? Perhaps the question one should really be asking is not so much about how can expats need or want a drink that desperately, but why would a foreigner in a foreign land be so disrespectful of local laws that are built on a religious framework?

Thinking about it from that perspective, and any tiny soupcon of fun and merriment about the thought of illegally imbibing alcohol like naughty teenagers goes out the window, and instead we’re left with a frankly disturbing thought that maybe, when we go abroad, we don’t all bother to respect our host nation, its beliefs and fundamental moral framework. Looking at it like that is a very sobering thought don’t you think?

February's editor - who welcomes your thoughts and comments...

Image – ChristinaTheBeautiful on MySpace.

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As Brits Flee Italy, Affordable Real Estate is Left Behind for American Buyers

The weak pound, a recession across the eurozone and the rising costs of living in countries like Italy are forcing British expatriates to return home to the UK – leaving swathes of stunning real estate for sale at bargain basement prices! For American baby boomers seeking out a new life for themselves overseas in retirement, this is just fantastic news!

Italy is one of the hardest hit countries in terms of the expatriate exodus – the main problem being that Brits of working age cannot forge a living for themselves in a country that has barely enough work to go around for its own citizens, let alone for foreign residents. Italy is certainly suffering as a result of the eurozone crisis as well…and all in all, unless you have independent means to support yourself in Italy, it’s not an easy country to live in.

For Americans who have the means and the desire to establish a new life for themselves in George Clooney’s favourite European haunt however, the landscape is looking particularly attractive. What’s more, the euro is currently taking a tumble in terms of its value against the dollar, meaning your bucks will go far further in Italy now.

However, before you rush off and browse real estate websites to see what’s for sale, and marvel at the wealth of choice you have in Italy - from villas with pools overlooking the ocean to mountain top retreats, rural homesteads in Tuscany and very affordable homes in the likes of Calabria – you need to heed these sagacious words of advice from Italian real estate project manager Alison Harris.

Alison is a bilingual project manager specialising in Italian real estate projects for international clients. She’s currently assisting with the renovation of a Lake Como property for an American buyer for example, and is best placed to protect your investment in Italy from everything such as the language barrier to the bureaucratic red tape!

1. Do your location research – in Italy there are the likes of earthquake zones which can undermine the value of a property as well as its stability. If you’re unaware that a property you’re interested in is within such a zone, you may discover at a later date that you have paid well over the odds for a home that is perhaps uninsurable.

2. Watch out for areas of archaeological or environmental importance as well – because if you buy real estate within such a zone you could be restricted as to the amount of renovation or building work you can undertake to personalise or improve your property.

3. Know that whilst ‘back handers’ and ‘turning a blind eye’ are still sometimes par for the course with builders or architects when it comes to getting building work completed to your specification in Italy, you can be undone when the official authorities turn up to inspect building work because no longer are rules allowed to be broken…i.e., it’s best to play by the rules from the outset.

4. Get specialist legal assistance before you buy to ensure your best interests are protected.

5. Speak to a real estate expert for advice about any property you’re interested in purchasing before you actually sign any contract to buy! They can cast an expert eye over the project and let you know whether your plans for it are likely to come to fruition based on their experience.

6. Haggle – you don’t always have to pay the book price for a property, especially in these economically challenging times. If you’re a cash buyer you’re in a very strong position – but if you hate haggling, employ someone to haggle for you!

7. Have a structural survey conducted on a property before you commit to purchase – particularly if the home is in need of extensive work. You need to know what you’re letting yourself in for before you make an offer…hidden surprises could undermine your budget!

8. Finding a team you can work with and who will listen to you when you’re living in one country and renovating a property in another is a challenge – consider using a project manager to protect your investment and oversee the smooth running of your project. You will likely find that their fee is nothing compared to how much they’ll save you in the long run!

9. Visit Italy and get a feel for the country before you commit to moving to live there – yes it’s a stunning nation peopled with some of the most passionate and beautiful people on earth, but it’s also a bureaucratic nightmare at times and it pays to be in love with the country ahead of your move!

10. Finally, learn at least some basic Italian – whilst a project manager like Alison Harris will assist you with everything from your relocation to your property purchase, your builders, lawyers, contracts and bureaucracy, if you have a smattering of the local language you will find you get far more out of your new life in Italy.

Alison Harris is a Bilingual Project Manager & Consultant specialising in the Italian real estate market. Her full contact details are: -

UK Direct line: +44 (0) 1306 711 409


UK Mobile: +44 (0) 7515 735 656


Italian Mobile: +39 331 241 0110


Skype ID: alison.harris75


Email: info@alisonharrisconsulting.com

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Social Breakdown or Terrorism Threat – Why Living Abroad Could be Your Only Escape

As you quietly go about your everyday life and sometimes perhaps feel a slight sense of boredom or repetitiveness in the routine you adhere to in order to have a secured standard of living, do you ever wonder about the society you live in and whether it’s as stable as you like to think it is?

Knife crime, gun attacks, social unrest, rising unemployment levels, increased numbers of home repossessions and enforced ethnic diversity in our communities are all undertones creating the potential for unrest that could escalate, engulf your neighborhood and involve you and your average everyday world…

At night as you watch the daily news unfolding on your TV screen and learn about terrorist threats at home, and wars in which your government is involved abroad, do you ever contemplate how this heightened level of international threat could affect your own life? After all, how exactly did the greatest terrorist atrocity on US soil in 2001 result in American soldiers fighting in Afghanistan in 2010? Our connection to the world’s wars and all that is evil is much closer than you may have first thought…

As much as we like to perhaps kid ourselves that ours is an ‘average Joe’s’ life – it’s comfortable, safe, secured and assured - maybe just maybe there’s something eating away at our conscience, telling us not to be quite so naïve about the state of the world we live in. After all, the likes of the US and the UK invented globalisation and have so far embraced it to the point at which a bomb blast in a far off country can have direct implications for our own safety as we travel to work in our own hometown…

There are people within your community right now who are certain that social breakdown, terrorist threats and even a new world war are inevitable. These are the people who take a global view of the world and are perhaps those we should be listening to and learning from. If the world continues on its reckless path of ‘anything goes as long as we have oil’ – why should you, your family or your community be safe?

The only countries in the world where there will perhaps be safety for citizens will be those which maintain a neutral stance on political and emotive issues – those that keep their own affairs in order whilst keeping their noses out of other nations’ issues. Countries to consider for their neutral stance are New Zealand, Switzerland, Costa Rica and even Argentina.

If you’re concerned about the deteriorating state of the world we live in, and you want to protect your future and that of your family, don’t leave it too late to leave – becoming an expatriate could be your only escape from what many are predicting will be an inevitable international breakdown on an as yet unseen, unimaginable scale.

Alternatively, you can remain – either in denial or with survival uppermost in your mind. If you prefer to deny that the world we live in is perhaps rotten to its very core in many key fundamental ways, I hope you’re right! However, personally I know I cannot ignore all that goes on around me and throughout the wider world and pretend that it doesn’t involve me, that it doesn’t matter…which is why I believe we all need to think about the reality of an altered world.

You might like to begin thinking about how you and your family will cope as natural resources run out – for example, how will you cope in life if you no longer have regular electricity? Blackouts in major urban areas in the US are already a reality – albeit a very infrequent one – but this could become the norm for all of us if our nation came under attack, or if supplies of fuel ran out.

If this is too much for you to consider, think instead about the sustainable nature of your current lifestyle – and instead of popping to the grocery store every time you run out of some essential foodstuff, what about growing your own, making and baking more of your family’s requirements? Some people are already stockpiling water and less perishable foodstuffs ahead of potential catastrophe…others are just beginning to contemplate how a significant change could impact their lives.

Whichever stage you’re at in terms of your thinking, don’t be naïve, don’t leave it too late, think about your options and act in the best interests of you, your family and your community.

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Make Making Friends Abroad Your Top Priority

When you move abroad and begin a new chapter in your life, you may be lucky enough to be accompanied by your spouse or partner, or you may be venturing forth into the ‘unknown’ alone…either way, one of your first priorities should be making new friends so that you can find familiarity and stability, support and camaraderie abroad.

One of the absolute worst things about relocating is leaving behind your familiar network of friends, family and associates – but there really is a simple way around the ‘loss’ – and that’s recreating a network overseas.

You’ll find that as you make the effort to meet new people and befriend strangers, you will learn more about your new location, you’ll find the support that you certainly need to settle in to your new life, and slowly but surely, this ‘foreign land’ will become your new home, and strange faces will become familiar friends.

As adults we often have friendships that have lasted many years, and these form the backbone to our network of associates, giving us the strength in life to take on challenges and unfamiliar experiences. However, when we relocate overseas and perhaps leave these firm friends behind, for the first time since school or college we have to actively make a real effort to create a new group of mates who we’re happy socialising with! It’s quite an uncomfortable reality to have to face for those who are uncomfortable in unfamiliar settings – and it’s to be accepted that taking the first step and introducing yourself to strangers is really quite daunting!

Having said that – there are ways that you can approach the need to make friends and take some of the stress out of the experience. The first point to consider is that having a good mix of local and expat friends will probably get you the most out of your new life abroad.

You’ll learn so much more about your new country through the eyes of your local friends, and be able to enjoy the experience of living overseas more if you can share your new experiences with fellow expats. So, achieving a harmonious balance between the ethnicity, background and culture of your new friends is quite critical!

The second point to bear in mind is that you shouldn’t expect to befriend or integrate with those you wouldn’t befriend or integrate with back home! It’s time to accept that we can’t like or be liked by everyone – and there are real barriers between some people that mean they will never be true and good friends. Accept this reality and apply it to your new life, then you won’t be disappointed when you’re not accepted by a certain person or group of people. It’s a fact of life that you can choose your friends but not your family – so hey, choose as wisely abroad as you would at home!

To help you meet local people and befriend them, you will need to have a decent understanding of the local language – and joining a language class can be a great opportunity to meet people who are like minded…perhaps killing a couple of birds with one stone! Joining other groups, sports or social clubs can also get you out and about and in a position to turn unfamiliar faces into firm friendships…and if you can find a club or event that involves your usual pastimes or hobbies, so much the better because then you know that at least those attending will enjoy the same things as you. It’s a great bottom line for a conversation starter – i.e., having something so plainly in common!

If there are few if any social groups in your new locality, perhaps you could be brave enough to start one? A DVD or a book exchange is a really simple and effective way to open communication and interaction…particularly in an area where there are limited English language books or films available. You may find that all of a sudden your house is THE place for expats to meet at the weekend, as you all gather to swap entertainment and reading matter.

Be creative in your outlook – seek out opportunities for meeting people who will be of a similar mind to you, and before long you will have the foundations for a series of great friendships.

February's Editor - Who knows how to win friends and influence people as well as how to make enemies and alienate people!

Image courtesy of Cleveland Seniors.com

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Sex Sells and Here is the Proof from the Streets of Taiwan

Advertising agencies have long known that sex can sell pretty much anything – from soft drinks to chocolate bars, from cars to bedroom furniture. But proof if it were still needed is paraded everyday on the streets of Taiwan – where scantily clad girls bare as much flesh as they possibly can to win trade at their basic betel nut stalls!

Betel nuts are as common on the streets of Taiwan as chewing gum is on the streets of the US or the UK. The nut itself is the seed from a palm that’s rolled up in leaves smothered in lime paste. You chew the nut, spit out the juice and the whole experience gives you a little stimulation along the lines of a strong caffeine kick – and can leave you with mouth cancer to boot!

In many parts of Taiwan, and indeed across Southeast Asia, everyone seems to chew the betel nut – and selling this mild narcotic is blooming good business if you can attract enough customers. The girls in Taiwan can earn twice as much as their sisters who have graduated college, and all they have to do to win sales and influence people is flash flesh and titillate trade!

The girls themselves have become an international phenomenon – featured in guidebooks, paraded before tourists and sought out by those after a cheap, (or even a free) thrill, the debate about the morality of their presence rages on. Are these women being degraded by the trade, should they be allowed to continue to work as they do, wearing little more than sexy underwear or negligees?

You may choose to take the high moral ground and agree that they’re being exploited, you might decide to take the health line and say that chewing the betel nut causes cancer and so should be banned – or you might prefer to look at it like these women do. If sex sells, and sales generate so much cash, who cares what it takes if you’re able to bring in twice as much as a college graduate?

The women are smart and they’re savvy, they look out for themselves and each other; if you get too close as a punter you get your face slapped, your butt cattle prodded or your entire being beaten to a pulp by minders who lurk in the shadows. So I guess the only downside of putting so much on show to earn an income is that you have to have such measures in place…but then I’m way too old to be making my income in this way, so perhaps I’m not in a position to comment at all!

What do you think – is using sex to sell exploitative for the women, for their customers, or just a savvy way to bring in an income? Feel free to comment below.

Image the copyright and courtesy of Tobie Openshaw.

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Expat Relationships - Love in a Foreign Climate

As Valentines Day approaches my thoughts naturally turn to love and relationships! I believe in love and I am quite a romantic at heart, but I also recognise that many relationships are a form of transaction. Read any women’s magazine or self-help guide and you will discover the benefits of compromise, which is in itself a form of transaction, i.e., of give and take. But what if the transaction is more blatant, almost financial if you will, does that automatically negate the presence of love?

Here in Africa where I live we often see what seem to be the strangest relationships developing. There are two main types, those between older expat men, and nubile, gorgeous local women, and those between young professional women and young local guys with few employment prospects. Both types of relationship seem to happen in foreign environments where the expats involved are perceived to have greater power and wealth than their local partner. Of course a local partner may also be a good way to learn the language, to get immersed in local culture, and may indeed be the love of your life…hmmm.

After all not all “May-December” relationships are abusive, transactional or short-lived, one only needs to look at Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones - 10 years on and apparently still going strong - to see proof of that!!! But it is also true that some older expat men who arrive in a foreign place quickly find themselves surrounded by beautiful women keen to be with them. Surely they have not suddenly become sex-gods as they descended the steps of the plane? It is more likely that in a place where women are treated as second-class citizens and have little access to opportunity, finding a sugar daddy is a good way out of a hard life. And, as many men tell me, such women are far less challenging than their Western counterparts.

Problems arise however when a transactional relationship becomes abusive from one side or another. I have a married acquaintance of well over 50 who went so far as to sign a legal contract with his 20 year old girlfriend defining exactly the parameters of the relationship, what he would pay for and what he would not, and what he expected in exchange – fidelity, interestingly enough! But I also know of other cases where the woman involved has been treated as little better than a sex slave, and dumped with nothing but her shame when the expat moved on to the next overseas posting. In other cases, married men on unaccompanied postings have engaged in a bit of cross-cultural liaison and taken a little more than they bargained for home to their wives, or left behind children that they may or may not opt to continue secretly supporting.

Sex tourism for women is reportedly on the increase. Certainly here young women who may have struggled at home to find gorgeous young men to date them, have the pick of the crop. There is even resentment among local women of the ease with which young foreign women come in and pick up the “cool” guys. But the reality is that many of these relationships are just as transactional, with the guys aiming for a ticket out of the country, opportunities to study, and a chance to live in the lovely house the woman has allocated to her as part of her expat package. The guys are rarely faithful, which is put down to it being ‘their culture,’ but which is also highly risky in health terms.

Often in both types of relationship there are major cultural and linguistic barriers, but those involved argue that these can be overcome by love. I met my husband abroad, and while we are of similar age and share a language and ethnic background we still, after 10 years, often encounter cultural problems. Our relationship is built on compromise and mutual recognition of the difficulties, as well as upon love, and though love does not blind us to the challenges we face, it does sometimes help us through them. I admit that I find it difficult at times to see our relationship and those I have described above as the same sort of thing.

Perhaps it’s the romantic in me but I find it hard to believe that at home you would opt to date someone who you can’t communicate with, who you have to pay a regular stipend to, or who comes from a background so different from yours as to perhaps be the equivalent of a university professor dating a road sweeper (not that I have anything against either profession). Call me old fashioned, but in the place where I live there are plenty of attractive, solvent, well-educated local professionals who speak English, but they’re not dating expats, and I have to ask why. Mostly the ones I have asked feel the way I do – they struggle with the idea of dating someone much older or younger, from a completely different culture, and who might leave at the drop of a hat. They struggle with the idea of a relationship that is so obviously a transaction.

So, perhaps love can overcome some barriers, but money can overcome more. If that’s the case and that’s the type of relationship you opt for, my advice would be to go into it with your eyes wide open, not necessarily going as far as writing a contract, but being well aware of your partner’s expectations of you. And always play it safe! Feedback welcome – comments accepted below!

By BeiraChick - Loving my Life Abroad

Picture courtesy of uncoached.com

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Don’t Die of Boredom – Move Abroad and Spice Up Your Life!

A new study has revealed that you can actually die as an indirect cause of boredom!

The study, undertaken by University College London, looked at the lives (and subsequent deaths) of 7,000 civil servants - i.e., arguably those in the dullest jobs in the world. It revealed that of those surveyed who did indeed find their mind-numbing jobs and lives exceedingly tedious, far more were likely to die at a much earlier age than those who reported finding excitement in what they did.

So, you really can die of boredom people – which is why it’s more critical than ever that you take control of your life and your destiny, bring more fun and happiness into your life, and actually get a life quick before you wind up dead!

The survey discovered that those who admitted to finding their lives dull were much more likely to turn to artificial stimulants such as alcohol and nicotine to get them through each day. Naturally enough, these ‘crutches’ then went on to have a detrimental effect on the respondents’ health. This resulted in the bored civil servants being at higher risk of health issues and ultimately, dying younger as a result.

Okay, so perhaps the link is a little tenuous – but I still think the survey’s findings are critically significant. They show that if you lead a dull life, you’ll get nothing good out of it. If you try and numb the effects of the boredom with alcohol, or take the edge off your frustration with a cigarette, all you’re doing is masking the underlying issue at best, and denying yourself the chance of a better life at worst.

Why stay in your dull civil service job when it’s driving you out of your head with boredom – to the point where you will potentially damage your health as you look for escapism methods for coping? Why not change your life instead?

It’s fascinating meeting young, newly arrived expatriates where I live – you should see the excitement in their faces and the eagerness with which they try every new experience. They’re not limited by feelings of frustration or restricted by the mundane. Everything in their lives is new, fresh, challenging in a positive way – i.e., a natural and healthy stimulation.

If you’re stuck in your dull job and bored by your life there are practical steps you can take to make a change: -

1. Look at the skills, experience and natural talents you have and work out how transferable they are…i.e., find a path you can follow into employment abroad
2. Contact international recruitment companies with a well written CV and encourage them to help you find a job overseas
3. Think about where in the world you would like to live – seek out employment or even voluntary opportunities there that you could apply for
4. Use expat forums and sites such as this one, www.escapefromamerica.com and www.escapeartist.com to learn about other people’s lives abroad and gain inspiration from them to help you make the move overseas
5. Save up and have a lump sum to support you as you venture forth and seek new horizons
6. And if you’re worried about losing the stability of your current job – ask about a posting abroad within your company, find out if you can take a sabbatical or apply for unpaid leave

Don’t restrict your own life and your own happiness…make the most of every day. And if that means you seek new horizons, what’s stopping you taking the first steps towards your new life?

February's Editor
zzz


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Expats and Alcohol – Go Together Like a Horse & Carriage?

I was sitting at the pub the other day, watching the tide coming in and the sun going down. I was surrounded by a bunch of people chatting away in many different accents, all doing the same thing. It was the weekly “sundowner” session, something you can set your watch by. At the end of a long, hot week, most of the expats in town congregate at the bar on the beach in time to watch the sunset, and pass the evening complaining about the vagaries of life in the tropics and putting away a good few G&Ts.

Of course the argument goes that a) G&Ts are good for you because they prevent malaria and b) there’s nothing else to do here at the weekend except get drunk. Aside from the obvious lack of local leisure facilities and the less obvious argument that quinine in tonic water may, in massive doses in some way assist with malaria (definitely unproven as far as I know), I got to wondering what else is it that seems to link the expat life so closely to alcohol consumption?

I should point out at this stage that I don’t have an answer. I mean, I spent some time in Hong Kong and the expats there were among the booziest I have ever met, and they didn’t have lack of facilities or malaria as an excuse. Is it then that, being away from home the local pub becomes a good way to meet new people, or that, being away from home makes us less inhibited and more inclined to socialise? Or is it that many of us who choose to live abroad are actually the type of people who would, in our home environment, frequent the local pub on a regular basis anyway? Whatever it is, alcohol has long been considered an integral part of the “the expat lifestyle.”

Being away from home, with a regular turnover of people, makes finding new friends on a regular basis a reality of life, and the easiest place to do this is often a bar. Lack of inhibition may come with moving to a new place, it’s not your culture so you feel fewer constraints, can be who you want to be, and reinvent yourself as you wish, and alcohol seems to fuel this. Lack of family-based social networks means that expats tend to socialise more extensively, and socialising tends to involve drink. The different types of pressure in an expat life also make a weekly “download” with other people in the same situation an important outlet, after all who else will understand the problems with colleagues, language, and local culture? And yes, perhaps, people who tend towards the expat life are the same kind of people who would seek regular social contact, lubricated with a few drinks, back home.

Whatever the reasons, the temptation to drink when living as an expat seems to be a big one, and one that people should take cognizance of, since the risks can be high. Getting drunk in a foreign place can be dangerous, and the support structures available at home to help people manage their relationship with alcohol are rarely available.

That being said, for me, the weekly sundowner ritual is more than a chance to meet new people, get drunk and complain about where I live. It’s also an excuse to leave work early, because my job is more flexible here than it would be at home, and to sit somewhere beautiful and appreciate the freedom and great environment I have chosen to make my new home. After all, you really can’t appreciate tropical seas and a beautiful sunset without a drink in your hand!

By BeiraChick - Loving My Life Abroad...

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Nicaragua...A Diamond Emerging From a Jack Nicklaus Golf Course

They say there is a book in every one of us, and my many years of international exploration have convinced me that there is an explorer in every one of us too. We all want to find that new place that none of our friends and family have found yet, and be the one to introduce it to the extended group!



Nicaragua has been on our radar at Caribpro for the last 18 months, and with the amount of development and interest that we are seeing in the country, there is a sense now of having made a really secure discovery.

Nicaragua is rated as the safest country in Central America, and the second safest in ALL of the Americas after Canada. The crime rate per 100,000 is HALF what it is in the United States and Costa Rica! Bet you didn’t know that!

Coupled with a rise in tourism of 15% annually in recent years, Nicaragua is on the verge of the boom we saw in Panama and Costa Rica just a few years ago. There are less than half a dozen well planned and constructed real estate developments in place - which demonstrate very secure, attractive investment for retirement or holiday homes in Nicaragua.



On the Pacific Coast of Nicaragua not far from Managua, ‘Seaside Mariana Resort’ offers 923 acres of private property to buyers looking for something new. With over a mile of unspoiled Pacific beach to the Tecolapa River’s tree-lined banks, and framed by distant rolling mountains, its a golfer's dream, a beachfront addict's nirvana and a property investor's gold mine. Buyers can even purchase a prime plot right on Central America's first Jack Nicklaus Golf Course and the first PGA course in Nicaragua!

According to Mariana's developer you can purchase and build a golf villa: "for 75% less than you would pay in any other nearby country."

At present six golf courses in Nicaragua are on schedule for completion by the end of 2010.

 The Sandinistas want tourism, but they want it Nicaragua-style; not integrated as part of the tourism melting pot of central America, with blurred cultural edges and no definition. So, alongside golf and other internationally mainstream activities, there are plenty of other quite unique things to do and see Nicaragua-style. Nicaraguan cities, after decades of wallowing in the economic doldrums, have (more by luck than judgment!) preserved their charming old streets and buildings. ‘Authenticity’ describes Nicaragua’s precious, underdeveloped, relatively untouched aura of faded glories and the scars of wars.

This is one of those places on the edge - already discovered by the first wave of intrepid explorers but not yet overrun – poised on the brink of discovery – yet still an investor’s diamond mine! 

Time to go exploring in Nicaragua...see you there!

Charlishia Honore
Caribpro Account Manager

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Overview of Shanghai’s Real Estate Market for Investors

Following an upswing in 2009 in terms of average real estate values in Shanghai, residential house prices recently dropped and so did sales interest in the city. The average price per square meter in China’s largest city fell below what is deemed a psychologically important marker – namely RMB 20,000, (which is approximately USD 2,980 per sqm). This is important news for would-be investors looking for the right time to enter what is certainly an exciting market.

Whilst we have seen regular fluctuations in Shanghai’s average property prices over the last 5 years, the average value of real estate dropped last week by a significant 9.8% to hover at about RMB 19,361 per square meter. Along with a drop in the number of residential unit sales, this price crash puts Shanghai property prices at their lowest level in the last 50 weeks.

In terms of real estate value developments in Shanghai over the past five years, residential unit prices have increased at a rate surpassing those in China’s capital city Beijing, making Shanghai now China’s most expensive urban area.

In 2005, experts predicted that by 2010 Shanghai residential units would increase by three times their original sales prices – well, in every one of the city’s three rings, (center, middle, and outer), Shanghai actually reached those anticipated price levels by 2007.

The recent price drop has lowered average annual price increases for residential units of course, but 2010 is a year where city centre prices are still up by five times their original 2005 pricing (i.e., a new unit in the city centre that would have sold for RMB 10,000 per square meter in 2005, would now sell for RMB 50,000 per square meter on average).

One major reason for the significant rise in city center real estate prices over the past two years is that Shanghai law now prohibits developers from using tax advantaged, government negotiated eminent domain practices to displace long term residents of the city who were living in old public housing units. Developers must now negotiate directly with building residents and so cannot afford to buy the individual units at market prices and then knock them down to build new units that would not necessarily sell at the higher prices needed to recover investment.

This effectively means that no new residential development has taken place in the city’s center for the past two years. City center residential sales currently focus only on a low volume of previously owned property that comes on to the market infrequently and at a seller’s discretion.

This recent drop in Shanghai’s property price average indicates to some experts that the city’s residential property market is now stabilizing and that speculative interest has ended in the city. The Twenty-first Century Business Herald reports: “Even though the supply of houses and the numbers of buyers and sellers fluctuates, residential property values in Shanghai show steady overall increases for each of the last five years.” Average prices for all three rings rose from RMB 9,653 per square meter in 2006 to RMB 16,185 by the end of 2008. Real estate experts maintain Shanghai is in for continued, but no longer phenomenal, price growth for residential units.

Some agents, however, say the property market in Shanghai has not yet stabilized, but instead that prices and sales are in the usual winter rut experienced in all Chinese property markets. According to one Century 21 agent I spoke to who was selling second hand properties on Xinhua Road: “no one buys property just before the Chinese New Year,” (set this year for February 14). Also, agents believe the Chinese central government’s move in mid-January 2010 to cool its economy by increasing bank reserve levels by 50 basis points has complicated sales potential due to a recent decrease in lending by local banks.

None of this information necessarily makes it any easier for an investor to determine whether now is the right time to enter the market or not, but hopefully the facts presented will be of value for those watching the Shanghai’s real estate economy’s progress…

Author - Tracy Zhang recently retired and now divides her time between China and the U.S. To learn how you can make money to help with your upcoming move overseas, check out Tracy’s article ‘Preparing for Retirement – Downsizing and Marketing’ in the November 2009 issue of Escape from America.

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images by photoeverywhere.co.uk

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