By Maya Frost
Thinking of spending time abroad with your family but worried about your kids getting off track and falling behind their classmates?
You’re not alone. Every week, I hear from parents who are longing to go on a long sabbatical or make a more permanent move but they’re waiting for the perfect time. Should they go with preschoolers? School-age kids? Teenagers?
My answer is always this: GO NOW. There will never be a perfect time, but you won’t regret leaving sooner rather than later, and you can always go for another stint when your kids are older.
Though I’d given birth to our first two daughters while living in Japan, and we’d taken all four girls to India and Nepal for a sabbatical when they were tweens, my husband and I wanted to live abroad with the kids before they scattered for college. So, in 2005, my husband and decided to sell everything and leave our suburban American lifestyle behind. The tricky part: we had to usher our four teenage daughters through high school and into college in nontraditional ways.
Most school administrators warn parents not to change schools when their kids are in high school so as not to upset their fragile balance of courses and credits. Baloney. We plopped our girls into new cultures, new languages, and completely new educational settings.
They absolutely thrived.
Moving abroad was the very best thing we have ever done for our kids. Doing it while they were teenagers set our daughters free from the old 4X4 model (four years of high school, four years of college). They blended high school and college in creative ways, picking from a range of options including high school exchanges, private tutoring, enrollment in schools at home and abroad, online courses, early college and more. They skipped the angst about college admissions, never submitted an SAT score and never took a single IB or AP course. But they did graduate from U.S. or Canadian universities by 19 or 20 with fluency in at least one foreign language, outrageously relevant global experience, a blazing sense of direction—and no debt. And while many of their classmates are still in college or struggling to find jobs, our girls (and many others like them who follow this same Bold School approach) have cool jobs they love in their chosen destinations around the world.
You don’t need to spend a lot of money to give your children this gift. In fact, we actually saved money by moving abroad—and not just a little. On our combined annual income in the mid five-figures, we saved enough to pay for nearly four simultaneous college educations—while enjoying a fantastic lifestyle abroad! Many middle-class American families who are doing the same. The key, of course, is to pick a destination with a low cost of living AND figure out how to earn an adequate income. We saved thousands each month (in both Mexico and Argentina) by simply avoiding expensive health insurance, car expenses, and the insidious extra costs of raising a family in the United States (activities, home maintenance, etc.)
I decided to write a book to help other parents ensure that their kids are prepared for their most thrilling opportunities. My book, The New Global Student: Skip the SAT, Save Thousands on Tuition, and Get a Truly International Education, was published last May. It offers insider insights and stunning success stories from students who are thriving by doing things differently. By spending time abroad at a young age—either as part of a family move or sabbatical or a high school exchange—these students catapulted over their test-dazed classmates and got a great global education without spending a fortune.
No matter how old your kids are, the most important thing is to focus on their learning and happiness rather than their education.
I know this seems counterintuitive in our competitive culture, but the reality is that by simply exposing your kids to a new place, you are giving their brains a huge boost. They are surrounded by new sights and sounds, new tastes, new everything. Parents who fuss about enrolling their kids in the best schools abroad are missing the point—it’s not the school you’re there for, it’s the learning. Let them absorb everything in as many ways as possible and don’t obsess about the details.
The biggest obstacle to going abroad with kids is not how to handle your employment, your kids’ education or health insurance or housing—it’s getting past the naysayers. In the book, I have a list of ten commandments for parents considering going abroad and there is a chapter devoted to dealing with those who shoot down your plans. Here’s a tip: avoid making grand announcements about your departure a year in advance. That’s too much time for doubt to creep in! We actually made our decision, sold our stuff and moved abroad within six weeks. Of course, we’d been thinking about it for years, but when it comes down to the notifying and packing, a smaller window of time is almost always better. Our momentum was unstoppable, the thrill was palpable and the sense of liberation enormous.
And here’s another piece of advice gleaned from expat families around the world: don’t overthink or overplan. You have to be okay with—no, embrace—the fact that you will not be in complete control. You can’t possibly anticipate every challenge, nor can you foresee the amazing highlights ahead. Leave your expectations at home—and be open to all kinds of wonder and wow.
I’ve interviewed hundreds of students who have spent significant time abroad during their middle school or high school years, and there are three areas in which they stand above their peers: they are more creative, more flexible, and more skilled at advocating for themselves to get the education they want. Research has shown that those of all ages who live abroad for at least six months develop greater problem-solving skills, and kids who do so become more confident, competent and compassionate.
Giving your children a greater understanding of themselves and the world primes them for their best opportunities to share their talents. Plan, pack and prepare for an incredible learning experience for everyone.
Oh—and don’t put it off. Now is almost always the perfect time to go.
Maya Frost is a writer and education consultant. She lives on a farm in Uruguay with her husband and is writing a new book. To learn more about her work and The New Global Student, visit
http://www.mayafrost.com/
This article first appeared on
Expat Daily News Central America. For more articles, stories and information about expat life in Central America visit
www.expatdailynewscentralamerica.com
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