The Shiny New Expat

by Julie R Butler

Being a brand new expat is one of the most invigorating experiences that anyone can have in life. You have made tough decisions, learned as much as you could about your new home country, perhaps communicated with other expats on forums and in person, completely rearranged your life, jumped through innumerable bureaucratic hoops, said your goodbyes, hopped on an airplane, and arrived, glowing with excitement, a little scared, yet charged up and ready to get settled into your new life abroad.

As exciting as this momentous moment is, it is important to be aware that it also a moment of great vulnerability. Everything is new and different, and unfamiliarity is a weakness that some will try to exploit. This vulnerability can only be overcome with time. One way that new expats leave themselves open is in their enthusiasm to make new friends. Just remember that it is not unreasonable to be weary of everyone who is a stranger, and be particularly weary of people who are overly friendly and make a big show of going out of their way to appear helpful. Allow trust to be built rather than assumed. A little patience goes a long ways, and the people who are truly kind and helpful, who coexist with people who would take advantage, will become more apparent after the initial unfamiliarity has been replaced by the confidence that comes from finding your own way and getting to know how things work.

Even after the initial breaking-in period, new expats in a foreign country can get caught off guard when the cultural differences are much greater than they realize. Yes, we are all fellow human beings underneath our customs and our nationalities, our opinions and our outlooks. However, underlying cultural understandings that have evolved through a history that has played itself out very differently than what one is familiar with can seem incomprehensible, and therefore they might go unacknowledged or be misunderstood. This is an aspect of expatriation that is difficult to pin down, so it does not come up as often as it should.

For example, just across the US border in Mexico, everything from the language to the foods, the music, the building construction, and the nature of the police force are obvious differences. Even aspects that any visitor will encounter like the mañana attitude or the way that the waiters in restaurants seem to be specially trained in eye-contact avoidance do not seem to drive home the point that the Mexican people have very different concepts of time, courtesy, and good business practices. For some reason, many new expats do not realize that these aspects of Mexican culture will affect the quality of their lives every day.

Therefore, when newly installed gringos decide they are going to teach their new employee a lesson in how everything would work better if it were done the “American” way, they may feel hurt when items go missing out of their house, regardless of the higher pay and the gifts they gave to the family that were meant to instill mutual respect and trust. I am by no means saying that all Mexican employees are thieves. What I am trying to convey with this example is this: to assume that any action will result in an implicit understanding of any kind is to underestimate the social forces that are at play in a country with over four hundred years of institutionalized corruption, subjugation, and severe social inequity.

Gaining mutual respect and trust will take more time and effort, again, learning the way things work, seeking to understand what lies behind those incomprehensible attitudes and practices, and realizing that, as the newbie in their country, you are a vulnerable target for those who would take advantage.

[photo: Shiny New Expat in Buenos Aires, by Jamie Douglas]

To contact Julie regarding this article, email: julie@expatdailynews.com

Julie R Butler is a traveler, blogger, freelance writer, and editor who has authored several books, self-published as eBooks, including Nine Months In Uruguay and No Stranger To Strange Lands (click here for more info). To contact Julie about writing or editing work, email: julierbutler [at] yahoo.com.

See more Expat articles by Julie at

Expat Daily News Latin America.

 

If you liked this article please click the +1 button and let others know where to find our great content
We would love to hear your comments on this article email us at editor@expatdailynews.com

Don't miss out! If you want to know when new content is posted, simply enter your email address below and we will send you an email with the new post title. Subscribe with confidence, you can opt out at any time and we do not share your email address with anyone.
Delivered by FeedBurner

If you like what you see here on Expat Daily News, we ask you to donate whatever you feel like, to help us to continue producing interesting articles for you. Thank you!