by Julie R Butler
Expat life is filled with many ups and downs, where a sense
of accomplishment one moment is followed by frustration the next moment. Among all of that,
one sensation that is sure to affect just about every expat to some degree or
another is loneliness. It happens when people are feeling far away from friends
and loved ones, when they miss being in familiar surroundings, when they feel
isolated because they do not speak the language well or have not found
connecting with others to be very easy, or perhaps an expat feels like a
stranger in a crowd, because she looks so different from the people around her.
But there are some tactics that can help overcome
this expat loneliness, beginning with the understanding that this is quite normal,
as many other expats grapple with it, as well.
Something else to keep in mind is that making new friends is
not easy and will require a concerted effort. Even amongst an expat community, connecting
with others can be difficult because it is a more diverse group than any
community in one’s home country, where people have common cultural values and
shared experiences. Also, networks of like minded individuals are well-established,
and being connected with them comes naturally over a lifetime in this familiar
setting. Meanwhile, the individuals in an expat community share only along with
the expat experience, itself, along with the fact that everyone came from somewhere
else.
Making friends within the local community will take an even
greater effort, especially if language is a barrier. But in either case,
insecurities will need to be put aside, as will differences of all kinds, while
opening the self to new possibilities of who a friend might be will offer up a
valuable life lesson.
Connecting with people in cyberspace can be helpful for many
people, with such aids as expat forums and websites, social networking, and
interaction via blogs. There is a wealth of expat forums, from country-specific
sites to websites that inform and offer networking opportunities for expats the
world over. There are sites aimed specifically at women as well as travel sites
that emphasize the idea of the modern nomad who can work from anywhere in the
world that provides an internet connection (a sampling of such sites are listed
at the end of this article).
One of my personal favorite therapies for expats is
blogging, a topic that I have written about on this site on several occasions.
The gist of it is that blogging serves several purposes, among which are
keeping connected to loved ones at home who can see photos and read about
adventures and observations, connecting with other expats and people who are
interested in becoming expats, and being motivated to engage in a place by
writing about it.
Overcoming the urges that might cause one to perpetuate
their isolation – fear of the unknown and insecurities about being different
and not fitting in – can be a major challenge for many expats. This is yet
another reason why language learning is such a big help. Expats dispensing
advice commonly recommend studying the local language. This, of course, will
facilitate engagement in the community, make taking care of tasks less
frustrating, and help to alleviate those feelings of isolation.
see also:
…and there are many more expat
forums that can help you adjust…
Julie R Butler is a traveler,
blogger, freelance writer, editor, and author of several books that she
self-published as eBooks, including Nine
Months In Uruguay. See Julie’s
socio-philosophical writing at her recently revived blog, Connectively Speaking.
See more expat articles at Expat Daily News Latin America
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